![]() You'll come to many moments like this when you fist, moments when you get scared, where it feels like they can't go any further. Your body is soft putty in your playmate's arms. When this moment comes, practice letting go. Don't feel bad when you do - it's part of the journey. You'll clench, which will result in true, legitimate discomfort, and this will make sex uncomfortable, and may even need to stop.Įveryone comes to this moment. ![]() Your playmate is building speed, then suddenly a multitude of thoughts rush into your head: "Am I clean?" "Will I get hurt?" "Can I take it?" This tension in your mind will result in tension in your body, leading to immediate muscle tension in your ass. When you're the receptive partner in sex, the "surrender moment" comes when you get scared. Handing over control is beautiful and powerful and frightening to many people. Practice the beautiful moment of surrender.Ī big part of sex - particularly our "nontraditional," kinky kind - involves handing over some control. Only do what you want to do, and don't feel pressure to enjoy your kink any differently than the way that feels right to you.Ģ4. If I ever go to that point, that will require training with someone I trust deeply. I set a depth limit, because depth scares me, and because I don't know how to do it yet. Not everyone is into punch fisting - but I am. Not everyone is into deep fisting - I'm not. Pro tip: You're allowed to set your own limits. If anyone is seeking an ultra-tight hole, they can seek someone else.ĭon't listen to the fisting myths made to scare you. I call bullshit on that antiquated "virgin glorification" ideology and think used, skilled, experienced bodies are incredibly sexy. Our culture tends to conflate tightness with virginity and virginity with desirability. Yes, fisting over time does result in a degree of body modification, so if you want the tightest hole in America, don't fist. You won't be reduced to diapers - unless, of course, you want to be and that's your thing (it is for some people). You might require some healing time, but your butt will shrink back up and work the same way it worked before. No, you won't permanently "destroy your butt." Skin is elastic and supple. No, you won't be unable to have regular sex ever again. No, you won't become incontinent - not if you fist safely and correctly. Discern the fisting facts from the fisting myths. If you're playing with someone you like, they can help you through that fear if you have established trust with them.ġ7. If you're scared but game to keep trying, tell that to the person you're playing with. ![]() Pro tip: Never be vague or dishonest about your experience level or how you're feeling. On the other side of that nervous threshold is the most intense pleasure my body has ever felt. The vulnerability of working and exploring the limits of your pleasure and your body with someone is powerful. The feeling itself is overwhelming, uncomfortable, and can be very intimidating. If something scares me a little bit, I know it's an erotic trigger. But that fear has never completely gone away, and that's part of its eroticism. Years later, I accepted the fact that I was into it, and had to try it. I was horrified of fisting when I first saw a video. It’s OK - and normal - to be scared of fisting and want to do it at the same time. Pro tip: When in doubt, water-based lubes are best for toy play.Ĩ. If a chemical reaction happens - an eroded spot or bubbling up - that's not the lube to use. Silicone compounds tend to bind or break each other down, so don't use silicone lube with silicone toys unless the manufacturer explicitly states it's safe to do so.ĭo research! Find lubes explicitly made for toy play, contact the manufacturer, and always do a "spot test." Rub a small amount of your desired lube on the base of your toy and leave it for a few hours to see how it reacts. Since you're paying money for good toys, use lubes that won't damage them or limit their longevity. You should avoid cheap, hard, plastic-feeling toys made out of materials like TPE. Smooth, soft, high-grade, premium silicone comes with a hefty price tag, but it's worth it. Insertable toys can get very expensive, especially larger ones, and you want to pay for premium materials. ![]() Learn what lubes are friendly to toys.īeing a good fister requires knowledge of different chemicals and compounds and how they interact with each other.
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